We Are Heading Home!

We are packing to head to the airport. This afternoon we received Phoebe's visa to enter the US! This will be a crazy flight, with travel time over 30 hours! Wish us luck.

Jen and Bob are here in Hanoi. This morning they traveled to LangSon to meet their little ones! I can't wait to hear how the meeting went. I'll be passing Ed and Peggy's cell phone on to them--Amanda and Bill left it for us. Thank you Ed and Peggy, having the phone, especially for Father's Day was a real treasure.

I have mixed feelings about leaving. We are eager to get home, but we have loved our time in Hanoi and will miss it. We hope to return when Phoebe is old enough to enjoy and appreciate Vietnam.

Gotta Run--just talked to Jen and Bob and they had a great visit in LS.

Hoan Kiem Lake In Hanoi

Hanoi has many great features, but by far for me my favorite has to be Hoan Kiem lake and the park around it. It’s great to be there any time of day but the early mornings are the best. It’s not just me who says it. Literally thousand of people vote with their feet (and their hands and their badminton racquets and their flags and their loudspeakers for aerobics) each morning to make it the best. This post is a collection of photos and paragraphs describing some of what goes on around the lake, as well as these first couple of paragraphs about running here.

Most mornings I’ve been lucky enough to start off with a run around the lake, joining the hundreds of other runners (whose faces are now beginning to look familiar). There is no single group to categorize them into except runners. There are old people, young people, rich people, poor people, girls, boys, women, men, some fairly overweight most relatively slim. Runners in fancy running shoes and runners without shoes. Runners with fancy running gear and others with dirty shorts and t-shirts. And a first for me in Asia: runners who are shirtless (this is the first time I’ve ever been shirtless in public in Asia except when I’ve been at the beach!).

Running the first couple of days was a bit rough, because of the heat and humidity. But it’s considerably cooler (i.e. less warm) in the early AM than late in the day (yesterday the temp was about 80 in the morning and reached over 100 by 2 PM), so after a couple of days of adjustment here the mornings actually DO feel cooler. And I think that all the activity going on in the morning at the lake also make it a bit easier to run. Sort of like people-watching for non-couch potatoes.

In addition to running there are lots of other things related to physical activity going on at the lake. I mentioned badminton and aerobics. There are three different regular aerobics classes that go on in different parts of the park in the AM ( and there are others that go on at night (see video clip of nighttime aerobics (here, ) These classes are great. In addition to the fairly large groups gathered around the instructors there are people (all women) who hang out within earshot of the music and simply do all the routines, following the instructor and group from afar. The photo above includes 3 of those "lurkers". It's easy to see why they would choose to lurk away from the main class, given the setting they chose. And these classes go on for hours! I’ve been there at 5:30 in the AM and 7:30 in the AM and they have been going on the entire time. Of course I did see one class where the instructor simply called out the instructions but did not participate herself. Judging from her less than perfect shape I would guess that as a general rule she’s not someone who believes in teaching by example.

There are several activities I don’t even know the names of, one of which I’ve got photos of (above). In this particular activity each person maneuvers, tosses and balances a single ball on a small racket, but each person in the group does the same thing in synchrony with the rest of the group.
There is also tai chi, (four different regular groups) and this morning for the first time I saw that people had moved some weight benches and free weights out and were using them. Hackey sacks were in evidence, as were soccer balls. In addition i saw a juggler, shadow boxers, people skipping rope, practicing yoga, cycling, and even courting. I guess hormones never sleep or there really ARE some young people who are morning people because even at 7 AM in the morning that particular activity ranked near the top in popularity. No photos of that here. Looks pretty much the same in any culture....

The entrepreneurial nature of the Vietnamese was in evidence all over the park. There were little stands where people were selling nutrition drinks, paper fans for cooling off, and someone was even selling shorts and t-shirts, I guess in case someone left the house and had forgotten theirs. But my favorite was a little old lady with a bathroom scale who will weigh you for a small fee. And if after a workout and weighing yourself you decided that you really could eat today there are vendors there to tempt you with whatever you might need to make breakfast. There are even flowers to brighten a table. About the only things I didn’t see for sale were diamonds and other precious stones.

One noteworthy absence—animals! I think I’ve seen two dogs in the park in all the days I’ve run there. But it’s not just dogs one doesn’t see. There aren’t any birds either, Also no insects--well, very few of them. And perhaps things have changed throughout SE Asia since I was last here in the early 90’s but even in the centers of other major cities I would occasionally see beasts of burden ( oxen, horses, donkeys, water buffalo); I’ve seen none of them here.

CIS Approved today!

Kim, the World Child in-country staffer, informed us today that our CIS was approved! This is very good news considering that we've been in Vietnam for only one week. With the approval, we hoped to do the final US Consulate interview (for Phoebe's visa) today, but ran out of time because we had to pick-up Phoebe's VN passport at the police department and then go to the SOS International Clinic for her Wellness check-up (both documents are required for the Visa application). We are proud to report that Phoebe is very healthy weighing in at 13 lbs, 25% on the US growth charts for 4.5 months, and 61 cm, 35% on the charts. She is a big girl by Vietnamese standards. Her doctor was a very nice man from Holland who admitted that she was perfect--yes we are proud parents!
Tomorrow afternoon (Fri) we'll have our visa interview, then on Monday afternoon the visa will be issued by the consulate, which means that we'll be ready to head home with our girl! We emailed our travel agent who reserved our new flights leaving Hanoi on Monday late night. Our original return flight was booked for July 4- clearly the process is moving forward much quicker than we had anticipated.

Here are pictures of dinner out with Peggy, Neil, Phoebe and me at the Cyclo Restaurant. We sat across the table from a lovely French couple who are starting the adoption process for Vietnam, which they think may take up to one year. They are wishing for a young baby girl, hopefully as young as Phoebe. They asked if they could take pictures with Phoebe, which my girl was all too happy to do. We shared blog addresses (apparently this is what waiting parents in France do too!) and wished them luck. Hopefully next year they will be dining in a Hanoi restaurant with their daughter--bon chance mes amis.

Catching up! First US Consulate Interview on Mon

There is a lot to catch up on.
On Monday we had our adoption interview, the first of two interviews, with the US Consulate. Kim and Kenny met us (Ken, Phoebe, Peggy, Neil and me) in the hotel lobby and together we took a taxi to the Consulate. Once at the building, we went through a security check where we submitted our passports for the attendant to log us into a book and then she gave us clip-on badges. Then we were asked to go to a large waiting room where we were the only people. After a few minutes, both families were called over to the counter, which had a thick glass wall separating us from the official, Mr. Anderson. He outlined the process, which he said was to basically verify our documents, and then he asked Peggy and Neil to a private interview room next to public area. Shortly thereafter, Peggy came out and we were asked to go in. The interview went smoothly with Mr. Anderson asking a set of questions to basically determine if the adoption was legal/ethical and if we were able to support our daughter. A few of the questions that I remember were:
How much did World Child charge for their services? Once in Vietnam were you asked to pay any additional fees? What is your annual income? What is/are the name(s) of your health insurance provider(s)? All of the questions required a simple answer except for one where he asked us to tell him all that we knew about the birth mother. When we told him that we met Phoebe's birth parents at the G&R Ceremony, he seemed pleased. All in all, we were at the Consulate office for less than a half hour. Mr. Anderson outlined the next steps, saying that barring problems with our documents, our CIS clearance, which is done in the HCMC office, would take 3-5 working days, at which time we would have our final interview for Phoebe's visa to enter the US.

Afterwards we drove to a photography “studio” near the lake to get pictures for the babies’ visas. I was skeptical that the photographer would be able to pose the babies, but Kim assured me that there was a technique, which she demonstrated with Neil for his shot. Place the baby on your lap, hold her at her hips, then a white cloth is placed between you and the baby, the photographer positions the baby’s head then quickly takes the shot. The first pictures were good for both the kids.

When we returned to the hotel I gave Kim Michelle & Brian Shaw’s care package for their daughter in Thai Hguyen, which she promised would be delivered on their next trip to the province.


Keeping with the tradition of the product report for families in the "waiting to travel" stage, I'd like to report on the the travel bed that Phoebe is using at the Hong Ngoc (bought at Target). She starts out in the correct spot but by the next morning she migrates to the bottom! We really like the bed because I can reach over to comfort her during the night when she wakes. I can also gently rock the bed, which helps to get her back to sleep (trust me, this can be very tough at times so the bed had been so helpful). For packing, it folds to about the size of a large computer bag. The dachshund stuffed animal(second pic) is from her special Uncle Craig. The final shot is of our little one napping in a stroller that we bought from another World Child family that was heading back to the US.

Video Clip; Entering Ministry of Justice; Interview Room

Video Clip: The route to the interview room and the hearing room where the Giving and Receiving Ceremonies are held.
The camera follows Peggy and Kenny and the two caretakers carrying Neil and Phoebe Jade up the stairs and to the bench across from the room where the G&R was held. The door at the top of the stairs is the entrance to Mrs. Thuy's office where the private interviews take place.

Father's Day in Hanoi

Before our trip I bought Father's Day cards for my dad and for Ken, but in the rush of getting packed I forgot to mail my dad's and to pack Ken's! Oh well. But Little Phoebe made up for my oversight by gracing this special day with smiles and giggles for her Opa in California and her Daddy in Hanoi.

We started this first Father's Day for Ken with breakfast at the Hong Ngoc, which we always enjoy. While Ken and Phoebe sat at the table (Phoebe in her "don't leave home without it" BabyBjorn --thanks Ray and Kath!!!) I brought breakfast to Ken, and since there is so much to select from, I made many many trips.
The breakfast buffet has a mix of Vietnamese and Western foods, including eggs, bacon, hot dogs, toast, cereal, yogurt and fruits. We prefer the Vietnamese dishes, which change day-to-day, but are always good and spicey with the extra Vietnamese condiments at the buffet.
There is always an assortment of pastries, many that reflect the French influence in Vietnamese cuisine (note the cream puffs--they were popular today at our table, hence the many trips to the buffet).
We enjoy meeting the other guests in the hotel. This gentleman is from Australia and is leading a 3-week tour through the Vietnam. He has a special relationship with this country because his niece was born here. He told us that his sister would have loved to have seen our Phoebe and the other babies, so I told him that we would post a picture on our blog for him to share with his family. Here it is mate!

LangSon and the Giving &Receiving Ceremony

We want to tell a bit more about our June 14 trip to orphanage and our Giving &Receiving Ceremony. For the next blog entry we have a video clip to post, but I’m not sure if it is going to work—so please email me either way so that we know.
The journey from Hanoi to Lang Son starts with a drive on the highway north, which passes through a major lowland rice production area. The view was impressive with paddies in varying shades of green for miles and miles. Even more impressive is to think that most of those paddies are plowed with water buffalo (water buffalo are like the donkeys of the lowlands—surefooted in a difficult terrain and are used all over Southeast Asia to plow rice paddies) and all of the rice is harvested by hand. Both activities could be seen throughout the travel through that enormous valley. Mixed within the rice paddies were plots of vegetables, fruit orchards and duck farming and fish farming facilities. Some of the crops that I recognized were yard-long beans, “upo” (Filipino name) a large greenish squash, papaya, mango, and I think cashews. After about an hour into the trip the road climbs into a very impressive mountainous region, which I can only describe as pillar like. In the upland regions corn production replaced rice. This is a shift that is common in many Southeast Asian countries. The shift not only represents a diet change, but also an income discrepancy as farmers with irrigated rice lands are relatively "wealthy" while upland rain-fed corn farmers are considerably poorer. (We intend to write a bit more about our observations of the agriculture and economy of the hill region in a separate post, since we were really impressed with the complexity of the agriculture and the seeming robustness of the economy in that region of the country.)

It would have been nice to stop for pictures because the ones from the van cannot do justice to the awe-inspiring views. The only time that we stopped was when the driver pulled over for a smoke break—I’m including this picture because it was rather funny as he didn’t say a word, simply suddenly pulled over and stopped and got out of the van, so at first I thought the van had broken down. He did this again on the way back to Hanoi.

The Lang Son orphanage is in the middle of the city with the entrance to the facility off of a dirt road from a major road.

This is a picture of Peggy, Neil’s mom, walking from the entrance to the orphanage.

(We have more orphanage pics, which we'll post later since blogger only allows 5 pics per post)

Finally, the most important shot for two “waiting to travel” families is this one of the care packages delivered by WC staffer Kenny (who is next to Ken, or at least part of him!) to the orphanage. While we were at the orphanage, the WC staff took photos of children.

Ken is writing this section:
When we arrived at the orphanage everything was very low-key. I really didn’t know what to expect, not having read any of the blogs and messages written by other parents. But if I had thought about it I probably would not have anticipated how low-key it turned out to be. In retrospect I think it was a really good way to handle a very emotional time, and in fact I think the way the entire morning went showed a sensitivity to all the families, both those giving as well as those receiving children.
We were led into a meeting room with two big conference tables and were asked to wait. Shortly after that and with no fanfare a caretaker arrived with Neil, Peggy’s baby. It was actually kind of funny. One moment it was just the three of us (Peggy, Donna and me) and the next moment there was a woman standing in the room with a baby in her arms. It took a few moments to register that Peggy’s baby boy, Neil, was there in the same room with us! But there he was, and what a healthy happy, lively, fun-loving boy he appeared to be. A few moments later, Phoebe and her caretaker also materialized, in the same manner. We won’t bore you with our thoughts and feelings on seeing Phoebe for the first time.
The next hour or so was filled with laughter, tears, photos, “posing” on the part of the two caretakers, and lots of questions of the caretakers by the new parents.

From this room all of us including the two caretakers piled into the van and headed to the Ministry of Justice, where the interviews and the G&R ceremony were held.
The Interview (This section will most likely be of more interest to adopting families): If we are able to get the video clip embedded you’ll be able to see the door to the room where the interview actually takes place. While we were in the interview the caretakers took care of the two infants. We were the first to go so while we were in the interview Peggy waited in the room where the ceremony was later held.

Each receiving family was interviewed by the Chief Officer of the Ministry of Justice, Mrs. Thuy. I was really impressed with this woman. It was easy to see that she took her job seriously, and that she cared what happened to these children of Viet Nam. Throughout that interview as well as during the actual G&R ceremony, which she also conducted, she did everything with professionalism.

The actual interview was straightforward, with questions that everyone should be able to answer. Which means of course that I was not able to answer the most obvious one: What is the Vietnamese name of the baby we are intending to adopt? Oh well. Fortunately Donna knew the answer to that one.

While we were in the interview two additional people were brought into the room and it became apparent that we were being introduced to the birth parents of Phoebe Jade Huyen Trang. After the introductions they were asked a series of question in front of us, the main points being to demonstrate that they were willingly giving up their child, and to give the birth parents an opportunity to see the people their daughter was going to be raised by and let us know what they wanted for their daughter. Both Donna and I came away from our interactions with Phoebe’s birth parents with a strong sense that these are two very good people. There is so much more behind that statement but in the interest of their and Phoebe’s privacy we will not write more about this.

After the interview we were directed to the room where the G&R ceremony was held, and we waited while Peggy had her interview. Peggy returned and all of us (birth families, caretakers, infants and receiving families) waited for a lengthy time period before all the parties were assembled. Then the ceremony was officially begun by Mrs. Thuy, with Kenny interpreting throughout the ceremony. .

The ceremony itself was anticlimactic, again low-key and in keeping with the effort to play down the potential for outward emotional displays. Each receiving family was asked again to answer some questions, and to indicate that they indeed wanted to adopt the children in question. Each receiving family in turn went up to sign the registry as well as quite a few copies of the adoption papers. After the receiving families complete the signing a representative of the entire group of receiving families is asked to speak and in this culture it is expected that the representative would be male. Being the only male in the group I was designated to speak, and I did, thanking everyone concerned and promising on behalf of all the families present to raise our children with a love and appreciation for Viet Nam and Vietnamese culture, including making efforts to bring our children back to visit Viet Nam.
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Then the birth families were asked if they wished to say anything, and Phoebe’s birth mother stood up and repeated the message she had left us with in the interview, and then a representative from Neil’s birth family spoke as well. With the conclusion of their remarks Mrs. Thuy reminded us that we are to report on the care of our adopted children to the Ministry of Justice on a regular basis until the children reach 18 years of age, and then pronounced the ceremony officially over. One final remark about the ceremony: I think it spoke volumes about the strength of Phoebe’s mother that she stood up and spoke when the birth families were asked if they wanted to speak. Apparently no family members spoke at the last G&R ceremony that took place two weeks previous, so just having a family member speak was already out of the ordinary. But in addition she was the only woman to speak during the ceremony other than Mrs. Thuy.
As soon as the ceremony was finished we drove back to Hanoi so that we could get to the Ministry of Immigration to start the process for getting her Vietnamese passport. We made it back in great time and sailed through the ministry process and now expect to have her passport by the end of this coming week. We also arranged to have our first of two interviews with the US embassy on MONDAY afternoon.

Two New Moms!

Peggy (from Chicago) is the other World Child family in our group and it is great to be going through this experience with her because we are both new moms. We must be doing something right because our kids are doing well, sleeping through most the night (sometimes we do too), eating well and getting over their colds. Tonight I saw Phoebe turn over onto her side! This is remarkable considering that two days earlier she could barely lift her head. These kid are just amazing.

Here are little Phoebe and handsome Neil all dressed up for our Giving and Receiving Ceremony on June 14.

It's Official! Phoebe is our daughter!

We have so much to share with everyone, but I'm not sure how long the internet connection will last at the Hong Ngoc Hotel, so for now I want to post a few pictures.

Well, it finally happened as planned. On June 14, 2007, after a 24 hour flight that arrived at 11 pm the night before, we got into a van at 6 am and drove north to LangSon to meet our precious little Phoebe and to take her to the Ministry of Justice Department for the Giving and Receiving Ceremony. The top picture is of us signing the official G&R book, which means that the Vietnamese government considers us to be Phoebe's legal parents. The second shot is our first family picture, and we are honored to share that shot with Jenny J-H, a World Child representative from the US. It is Jenny and the other hardworking WC staff who make these amazing moments possible for families--thank you to all of you. The next shot is of Ken and his little girl- yes, she's already daddy's girl! The last two pictures are of Phoebe and her primary caregiver. When she brought Phoebe to us, it was clear how attentive and caring she was to our daughter over the past three months. Phoebe never cried or fussed the entire time that she was with her. The caretakers are truly gifted with babies. In the final shot, her caretaker is changing her into a special Giving and Receiving Ceremony outfit, which was from Phoebe's Aunt Darlene and Uncle Don. It fit perfectly!

More to share--let's hope the internet connection continues to work.

It is so great to be a MOM!!!!

Lots more to share

Care packages to Vietnam

The top picture is of our caseworker Renee from Family Connections and her ADORABLE son Mark. Renee conducted our homestudy, guided us through our VN dossier, and, last Friday, prepped us during our pre-departure meeting. We are so grateful for all that she has done to make this journey to our daughter a reality--thank you, Renee.

While in Cortland at FC, I picked up two care packages that families had sent for their little ones in LangSon-- one from Nicole and Tim for their son Zubin and the other from a family that I haven't met. On Sat another package arrived at our home from Michelle and Brian for their daughter in Thai Nguyen. Please know that your packages to your children are labeled and safely tucked away in Phoebe's suit case! See lower pic.

Now we need to get our last few items together and head to the Syracuse airport. We are flying on Continental Airlines via Narita, Japan toHanoi. Our flight gets into Hanoi late on Wed night. On Thurs early AM we'll drive to LangSon, briefly meet our daughter at the orphanage and then head to the Giving & Receiving! I can hardly believe that I'm writing this!

Phoebe's Nursery

I planned to add more pictures of her nursery but I'm having computer problems.

When my parents, who live in California, visited us over the Easter Holidays they were very disappointed that Phoebe's nursery wasn't complete. Here it is!

The inspiration for the room colors came from the first dress that I bought for Phoebe (it's hanging on the other side of room, but I can't upload the pic). I searched for crib bedding but couldn't find a good match, so I decided to make everything using a Simplicity Pattern (#4627). Then I had a hard time finding the right fabric so I searched the bedding department in Target and found Shabby Chic bed sheets and curtains for the project. The toughest part was replacing the cover on the roman shade (it is one that I made over 10 years ago!) because it has five layers of insulation for the cold Upstate NY winters.

Above the crib is an antique Victorian print of a watchful collie and a sleeping little girl--the colors were perfect in room and I just love the image. The dog reminds me of our amazing collie Stella who passed away a few years ago--we still miss her. At the sides of the print are old German stuffed animals (Steiffs) that were either given to me as a child or that I collected over the years. I saved them because I always knew that one day I would give them to my daughter. Below the picture is a beautiful handmade bib (it hard to see because it is white) from Vietnam that my friend Huong gave to me. It is too nice to use so I decided to hang it where Phoebe can see it. Eventually she'll pull it down, but for now I'll leave it there.

I'm saving one wall for something special from Vietnam, and from what I hear shopping in Hanoi is great so I look forward to searching for the last element to complete little Phoebe's nursery. I hope that she likes it!

Beginning the Adoption Process in Fall 2006

Last fall we made the decision to move forward with our plan to adopt our daughter. Like many other families, we were interested in China; several years earlier we learned about the process through friends and through our conversations with the staff at Family Connections, in Cortland, NY. At the time, the wait for a child was between 6 and 8 months, a timeframe that we were ok with. But in fall 2006, we experienced the reality of the international adoption world, that it is a dynamic process, always changing and shifting, and now the minimum wait for a child from China was over 2 years after the paperchase. This was such disappointing news. Then we learned about Vietnam.

Here is our timeline for our Vietnam adoption process (Note: this list will not be interesting to you unless your are adopting, but for us it was a good way to chronicle our steps for our records) :

Late October 2006: Started discussions with our caseworker Renee H. at Family Connections in Cortland, NY.
Early Dec.: Applied to World Child, an international adoption agency located in Maryland.
Dec. 14, 2006: First 4-hour homestudy visit with Renee.
Dec. – Jan. : Worked on homestudy and Vietnam dossier documents, and reviewed first draft of our homestudy report. In early Jan, applied for new passports.
Jan. 10, 2007: Second 4-hour homestudy visit with Renee. Our homestudy document was completed later that day.
Jan. 17, 2007: I 600A (Petition for Advance Processing as an Orphan) was received by Citizenship and Immigrations Services (CIS) in Buffalo.
Feb. 6, 2007: Hoang Huyen Trang (Phoebe!) was born in LangSon, and I 171H completed by CIS.
Feb. 7, 2007: Busy day! In the morning, all documents were county certified in the Tompkins County Clerks office then driven to Family Connections at 10:30 am. At noon, Renee delivered the documents to another parent who then drove to Albany for the Great Seal of NYS, and returned them to Family Connections later that day!
Feb. 8, 2007: Family Connections sent dossier, except for the I 171H and my medical letter (the notary was from a different county, which I didn’t notice until I tried to get it county certified in Tompkins Cty—my mistake) to the Consulate General of Vietnam in California to be authenticated.
Feb 22, 2007: Family Connections sent I 171H and medical letter to the Vietnam Consulate.
Mid Feb.: The consulate sent documents to World Child.
Late Feb.: Dossier in Vietnam.
March 14, 2007: RECEIVED OUR REFERRAL FOR PHOEBE!
March 15 (Thurs) and 16 (Fri), 2007: Scheduled medical reviews by Dr. Bradshaw in Ithaca and Dr. Sarah Springer in Pittsburgh.
March 19 (Mon), 2007: Accept referral.
March & April: WAIT
May 11, 2007: Instructed to apply for Vietnam visas to enter on May 25.
May 12, 2007: Submitted visa applications to Vietnam Consulate in San Francisco.
May 16, 2007: Informed that the Ministry of Justice in LangSon split our group and that we would not travel. Visas to Vn arrive that afternoon.
May 18-June 5: sad, sad, sad.
June 6, 2007: Family Connections called with travel and Giving & Receiving Ceremony dates!
June 12, 2007: At 6:55 am fly from Syracuse to Newark, then Narita, Japan and
June 13, 2007: Arrive in Hanoi late at night and go to the Hong Ngoc Hotel.
June 14, 2007: Depart Hanoi at 6:00 am for the LangSon orphanage to meet Phoebe and then go to our Giving & Receiving Ceremony at the Ministry of Justice in LangSon when she will legally become our daughter!
July 4, 2007: Fly home!